Breaking Feminism News

With her husband awaiting judgment from inept baseball commissioner Bud Selig, Debbie Clemens has been named as a starting pitcher for the 2008 season by first-year New York Yankee manager Joe Giardi.

"She was living in his house while Roger Clemens piled up more than 350 victories," said Giardi. "It stands to reason that she can bring back some of that flame-throwing Clemens' magic of the past."

"I am happy to be a trail blazer for women," said Debbie Clemens. "My 24 years of experience makes me the most ready on Opening Day!"

Roger Clemens — who has been the focal point of the steroid allegations made by the Mitchell Report — has strongly denied his lack of character. He was quick to support his wife's glass-ceiling-breaking endeavor.

"I have known this woman for most of my life and no one is more fit to pitch for the Yankees than she is," he said. "I think that New York will embrace her like I have. She is more experienced than that young black buck Joba Chamberlin. His time will come."

When told that Chamberlin was not black, Clemens angrily shot back, "Well, he's at least a homo, right?"

Yankees pitchers and catchers report to Legend Field in Tampa, Fla., for spring training in just three weeks. The 27-time World Champions face the University of South Florida in an exhibition game on Feb. 29.